On one hand, you know she likes you. She even directly told you.
You've even held hands, made out, and even acted like a couple.
What could be wrong?
As you spend time wondering what's going through her head, you start to worry about her.
Are you doing something wrong? Are her feelings for you fading? Does she also like another guy?!
watch "When a Girl Says She's Not Ready For a Relationship" on Youtube
When a woman tells you she's not ready for a relationship, you have to get things right.
This is a critical moment in time that determines the future of the relationship.
What you do next, and the way you behave determines whether you take the "relationship" to the next level... or whether she loses attraction for you.
What Most Men Do When The Girl They're Seeing Says She Isn't Ready For a Relationship
Look, a woman you're seeing will at one point or another go at least slightly cold.
The reason has nothing to do with you. Women are emotional creatures that sometimes need space to themselves to work feelings out. It has nothing to do with you!
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| she says she doesn't want a boyfriend right now |
The problem is when men think something is "wrong" when the woman goes distant.
When he sees her fading away, what do his instincts tell him to do? CHASE CHASE CHASE.
Instead of giving her space, he crowds her more.
She realizes he's dependent on her. She senses he lacks strength to hold his own without her attention "validating" his self-esteem... and because of it she loses attraction.
So when a girl says she's not ready for a relationship, the inexperienced guy tries to find ways to convince her even MORE to get in a relationship with him.
What's more, he compensates by demonstrating his "good potential boyfriend" qualities as an attempt to sell himself as relationship material.
This is actually the wrong way to go about it.
Because once you aim to show her your good boyfriend qualities, to stop creating the attraction required to make her fall in love with you over time.
She doesn't "fall in love" with you by analyzing your good boyfriend qualities and becoming logically convinced that she should be your girlfriend.
No. She falls in love EMOTIONALLY because you're acting like a lover that hits on her emotions and makes her think of you when you're not around. (This deserves to be a post on its own)
How to Make Her Want a Relationship
There is a natural process a woman goes through in her mind before she decides she wants to be in a relationship with you.
People often say "men enjoy the chase"... but women secretly don't want men to chase them. Instead, women want to be the ones who win over "their" man.
A woman wants to be the one who puts in the effort to "lure" the man and get him wanting to be her boyfriend.
When a woman realizes she is putting in effort and investing in you, her mind backwards rationalizes "I must really like this guy, otherwise I wouldn't be investing all this time in him."
In psychology, this is called the principle of "effort justification".
On the other hand, if she feels a guy is too "easy", she quickly loses attraction. That's why guys who throw themselves at women typically get the "friend zone."
He isn't a challenge at all. She feels like she's already got him!
This is why you shouldn't get into "relationship mode" too quickly.
Instead, this is what you should do.
Only focus on being a LOVER at first.
At the beginning when you first start dating, only focus on hanging out, hooking up, and having fun.
Don't bring up any "feelings" talk or relationship label talk... only focus on the present moment and creating fun opportunities for sex to happen.
Make a date once a week, and as time goes by, she will slowly fall in love with you.
Here's why:
Because when you are relaxed, confident, and non-needy of the outcome, you can easily have fun and this creates tons of attraction.
This is the behavior that gets a woman fantasizing to be your girlfriend.
She will start wondering if she's the only woman you're seeing... or if she's your favorite... and then she will want to win you over! (Remember effort justification)
And if you get a woman really thinking about you when you're away... you've GOT HER!
So what will she do? She will start bring up the "relationship vibe." She will start asking you "so... what are we?"... and then you can decide whether or not you want to be "official" with her.
But have patience... be independent of the outcome... and remember to be a LOVER first, boyfriend later.
That's how you make a woman want a relationship with you.
If you're ever in doubt, consider this a guide of what to do when a woman tells you she's not ready for a relationship.
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