When I receive emails asking "why is my ex girlfriend acting cold towards me?"... I immediately advise my students to not send her anymore texts.
When an ex girlfriend has gone cold, it means she needs space because her attraction for you has gone down.
You don't want to make it worse by repeatedly sending text messages that annoy her.
Not understanding the mechanism of how women feel smothered and need space when you act too clingy might even be the reason she broke up with you in the first place!
You must create space to allow her to fall in love with you.
Start by giving her space RIGHT NOW.
Yeah, I know you feel that by leaving her alone, she will leave and you will lose her, but trust me on this one. The more you chase when she retreats, the more you will REALLY LOSE HER.
So what do you do instead?
Wait for her to come to you.
Don't text her anymore, AT ALL, until she reaches out again.
When She Reaches Out Again, Start From the Beginning
So she reaches out, and seems more eager to talk to you, now what do you do?
When a woman starts giving you interest again, you must not take it as "she is 100% attracted to me, and wants to be my girlfriend again!"
No, attraction doesn't work that way.
You have to imagine you're dating her again from the very beginning.
That's how you get her attraction back up.
If you are desperate to have her back as your girlfriend, in order to feel "complete" as a person, you're going to inevitably ruin it. See, you won't be able to be the fun, attractive version of yourself that she is attracted to... because you won't be happy unless you KNOW you possess her as your girlfriend.
- You'll keep pestering her with questions about the "relationship label"...
- You'll ask her about her feelings and what it all means...
- You'll be too needy about having her back and you won't focus on what's required to re-attract her back.
And that's why, to trigger her attraction back, you must do THIS:
Only focus on having fun and hooking up. Create fun, romantic dates that lead to sex. (ideally make the date at your house).
Have fun, hook up, but without getting into "relationship talk" or "feelings talk".
Do this about once a week without texting too much in-between dates, and her attraction will ramp back up until she starts saying "let's talk about 'us'" and she brings up getting "back together".
But My Ex Girlfriend is Acting Cold Towards Me, What do I do Now?
As I said previously, if your ex is going cold, you must remain no contact until she reaches out.
In the meantime, focus your mind on other things by going out with buddies, focusing on school/work, working on hobbies, and MEETING OTHER GIRLS.
The last is crucial. If you're just focused on just your ex girlfriend in this point of your life, you will easily become obsessed with her... you will become too needy for her... and all of this will STOP YOU from attracting her back when she does decide to reach out.
That's why it's critical that you start seeing other girls.
Not only is this the best path to re-attracting your ex girlfriend back, but it's also the path that will help you recover in case you don't get her back.
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